


"Defective?"

by sign_of_one



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, also some On The Run feels, mental health, more friendshippy than relationshippy, takes place after Too Far
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 01:12:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6683425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sign_of_one/pseuds/sign_of_one
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot sees what Amethyst is like on her bad days, and learns that her "defective" comment unintentionally cut deeper than she thought. Emotionally stunted green space rock tries valiantly to comfort a would-be friend during a hard time. Sesame Street-tier lessons about learning how to help your friends when they're sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Defective?"

“ _There_ you are!”

Peridot stood atop the ridge, arms crossed, staring down at Amethyst and looking as imperious as she could without her limb enhancers.

“The permafusion sent me to locate you when you didn’t return from your excursion into the human settlement within a reasonable time. Your presence is required at the barn. The Steven has prepared _‘snack’,_ which I am told will be of interest to-”

Amethyst’s whip sliced through a dead tree, cracking it in two. She didn’t turn around.

“Buzz off, Peri. I ain’t in the mood right now.”

There were other broken logs scattered around the little clearing at the edge of the treeline, and broken boulders and deep sharp furrows in the weedy dirt too. Amethyst dug her fingers into the newly-fallen tree, gripping hard and tearing it into splinters with a grunt of exertion. Peridot scoffed.

“I am merely the messenger. Why blame me for your apathy towards-”

“I said no, Peridot. Go away.”

“Hmm.” Incorrect response. Peridot frowned. Usually Amethyst could be expected to provide some well-intentioned ribbing at least, but her tone now was as harsh and dull as it had been after they first returned from the Kindergarten. Had she somehow hurt her feelings again?

Peridot slowly took a seat, letting her un-enhanced legs dangle over the edge of the ridge. Amethyst still had not even turned to face her. Instead she focused on digging furiously through the rubble she had created, clutching her whip tight as she kicked over rocks and trampled patches of crabgrass. After a few minutes of aggressive busywork, she picked up one of the fresh logs and hurled it into the denser trees with a grunt of exertion. Her fists were clenched tight as it crashed into the foliage, knocking loose a few branches and panicked birds. She stomped after it for a closer look at her handiwork.

Peridot’s eyes narrowed under her visor. She hopped down from her perch, tumbled down the uneven ridge, yelped, frantically shielded her gem with her tiny, tiny arms, crashed into the ground. She coughed up a pebble and blinked in time to see Amethyst glancing back at the noise before quickly turning around again. Not even offering a hand. Rude. So she dusted herself off, grumbling, and finally approached the other Gem with a look of curious skepticism on her face.

“Amethyst? Did you...lose something in the forest?”

Amethyst just grunted, crossed her arms, still wouldn’t face her. Up close, Peridot could see her fists were clenching alternately and her hair was wilder than usual. She stepped closer.

“What are you looking for, exactly?”

“Wish I knew.”

Her voice was quiet, uncertain, absent any of that usual quartz confidence. Peridot rolled her eyes, threw up her hands in frustration and answered with smug derision. Why were earthlings so _strange?_

“Then there’s no point in _looking_ for it, is there?”

She was expecting a harsh look, a snappy comeback, maybe even a quick bite from the Gem warrior’s whip. Instead, Amethyst slowly sat down on the torn dirt and hugged her knees tight. She heard a quiet _sniff_ against the sound of fleeing birds. Was she...crying?

Peridot raised an eyebrow, utterly perplexed. “What? What did I say this time?”

Amethyst had her face buried between her knees, with her whip tied worryingly tight around her legs. Her voice was muffled and tired. “just stop, okay? don’t talk like that. you’re not being funny right now.”

Alright. This was officially abnormal behavior. Seeing Amethyst so distraught, seemingly made worse because of her own words and actions, was making her feel... _smaller_ again. The defective quartz being in some sort of pain wasn’t just some fact to be cataloged in the name of situational awareness. It felt wrong. A problem that needed a solution, to satisfy her internal feeling of discomfort at least.

She scurried over, took a seat on a cracked boulder. Observed the tree line, the broken stones, the ragged wounds in the dirt, the signs of frustrated spin-dashes against the ridge. She glanced at the other Gem. “What is your status? Is everything alright? Did I...hurt your feelings?” 

The phrase still didn’t quite sound right, but she tried to sound sincere. Amethyst gave a muffled reply: “it’s not about you.”

Peridot blanched, faintly surprised. “Oh. Good.”

Amethyst sniffed and hugged her legs tighter. Peridot looked away, back to the trees, feeling smaller still. It made her deeply uncomfortable to see the powerful Gem in such a vulnerable state. All her training and experience taught her that this was incorrect behavior for a warrior, practically showing her throat to an enemy. And yet, rather than reprimand her, her instincts told her to just wait until she spoke for herself. Listening to her explanation in her own words seemed like the least she could do.

After a while, Amethyst pulled her face up from her knees and sighed. Her eyes were mostly hidden by her unkempt hair, but Peridot could see clearly enough that she had been crying earlier. “hey, Peridot?”

Her voice was steadier, but still gravely and worn down. “Can I ask you, uh...because you’re a Kindergartener or whatever and you...kinda act like you know all about me, and how I was supposed to be, and stuff...”

Peridot shifted on her rock uncomfortably. It was dawning on her over the last few days exactly how much she had hurt Amethyst when they retrieved the drill head. Even if she did only mean to state facts. “I am listening.”

Amethyst ran a thick hand through her messy hair, pulling it back from her eyes and turning to face Peridot for the first time. “Is it normal for a quartz to be sad? Like...all the time?”

Peridot studied her expression. She looked like she was too exhausted to be angry, her pupils narrow and searching the green Gem in return. Amethyst leaned back on her elbow, still clutching her whip wrapped around her legs. “Like...really, really sad. Like wishing you’d never been...uh...I mean, even when you’re having a good time and around people you like. Is that how it’s supposed to work?”

Peridot’s hand was balled up against the rock. Her thumb was moving instinctively against her fingers to calm her nerves as Amethyst spoke. That sensation of smallness was shifting into a sort of tense knot in her chest that tightened when she looked at the other Gem. She tried to speak more delicately than she had at the Kindergarten: “I do not believe so.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully the beginning of a 2 or 3 part little conversation. I had two goals here: write Peridot being totally uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability in a less endearing way than usual, and dive a little bit into the troubled side Amethyst exposes in stuff like On The Run/Maximum Capacity/Too Far. Expect some Purple Puma before this is over, because there's not enough fics about why Amethyst likes playing with male forms!


End file.
